It’s been a while since I posted anything on my blog. The reason is I fell and broke my arm while hiking with my family on Labor Day. It was an extremely painful experience. The only time my arm didn’t hurt over the last few weeks was when I was resting on the couch. So that’s what I’ve been doing, letting go. I’ve been doing my best to be gentle with myself, to feel and receive what is happening in my body in a space of unconditional love and compassion.
Breaking my arm has not been easy, but it’s certainly a very transformative event. I am able to allow the light of my True Self to come in.
Breaking my arm has guided me to receive unconditional love and peace.
I believe with all my heart and soul that the Universe is on my side. Since I believe everything that happens is there for me and not against me, I have been breathing deeply, softening my body, and asking what are the gifts from this experience?
Whether I believe it happened for a reason or it just happened, I do have the choice how I respond to it. I can go into a victim mentality, poor me why did this happen to me, or I can let go of any resistance and be present with the situation in a place of peace. One of my intentions in my life is to be where I am, as I am, more willingly. Here is an opportunity to practice that.
Accepting myself and feeling it’s okay to feel what I feel even if I don’t like it makes it easier for my body to heal. It allows my body to be in the rest/restore mode. Feeling like crap and hating it puts my body in the fight/flight mode making it hard to heal. Feeling crappy and letting go of resisting it and taking a few breaths to give myself space creates more ease in my body.
I have been using my emotions as a guidance system to show me the way. One of the first things that came up for me is the thought “what did I do wrong?” Since I believe I create my own reality, if something bad happens I tend to judge myself. I feel I must have done something bad to have created this experience. This is a belief and conclusion I picked up along my journey but it is not true.
This pattern has come up for me in many ways over the last year. Just noticing the energy of judgment with compassion is a good awareness that shifts the energy. There is a part of me that feels I am bad and has done something wrong. It’s a younger part of me that wants my attention and love.
I have learned when I embrace the dense energies that show up, they begin to dissolve.
I sat with this younger part of me that feels she is bad, doing something wrong and listened to her with love and compassion the way a mother sits with a child that need comforting.
I said to her, “Tell me your story, tell me how you feel. I’m here to listen and honor your feelings so we can both feel lighter” and “there is room for you here too and I love you.” I journaled and tapped on how she felt and the energy began to transform.
I asked myself many times “Am I willing to love myself and feel loved even when I am in pain?” Sometimes the answer was yes, sometimes no. When the answer was no, I couldn’t feel love for myself. Instead of fighting with that energy, resisting how I was feeling, I welcomed the one who feels this experience is so hard and gave compassion to that part of me too. Welcoming everything that is showing up is a big part of the journey to awaken from fear into love.
I have been able to hold a space of love for that hurt younger part of me on a much deeper level than ever before. I have been able to open up to loving myself, feeling peace even if I’m in pain. Loving myself and feeling okay even if the only thing I can do that doesn’t hurt is sit on the couch.
I asked myself…
“What would it be like to know unconditionally in the deepest space of my being that I am loved?”
The more I have been able to allow what is, to be the way it is, the more my body relaxes. I come out of fight/flight and spend more of my time in the rest and restore mode where healing occurs naturally.
Yes I wish I didn’t fall and break my arm but instead of resisting it I choose to embrace it knowing I am opening up to loving and trusting myself on a much deeper level than ever before.
As I let go and allow, my highest power comes through.
I hope this experience of mine can be useful for you to open up to more unconditional love as you go through your journey. We are all in this together.